Trapped Inside The Cave

Emptiness inside. Constant.
I fill it up with food and it never goes away.
I starve it from itself and it grows bigger until it overpowers my mind and I am feeding it through hands that are not mine.

All this time has passed and gone and I thought it was my stomach that was emtpy,
My heart is the true black abyss to which love can never enter,
I am a hollow shell of a poor reflection caught from the corner of your eye,
And I am so empty inside I need to be filled.

Filled so much until I burst and bring life from my own body with tools of destruction,
Fingers searching in dark tunnels to reach far enough,
Blades caressing my skin to find purchase and press deep enough until I can feel nothing but the pain of fire,
Release me from the pain of emptiness.

And it does.
If not for a little while I sit alone and reflect on what I have done and it creeps back inside,
Then I must go again until all that I can feel is stretched silk over glass that burns with quick movements.

All this time I knew I was empty inside but had the wrong reason,
Looked up different words in the dictionary and found their meanings but could never find my own,
Why have I been placed upon this Earth to roam alone forever more and find nothing but this emptiness that cannot be filled.

What is the point in me?
Why do I exist if all I can do is hurt and feel pain?

Searching for redemption in darkened tunnels inside myself,
For I must have comitted the worst of crimes to have been forced to suffer life,
A life in which I know all meaning but my own.

Caress me light in the warmth of your touch, take me from the dark place that is my soul and shed forth happiness into my smile.
Put back blushing apples inside my snow-white cheeks and make me feel good.


Make me feel as though it doesn't even matter that I wish I'd never been born.